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With so many other decisions that were happening during mood swings, hot flashes and crying spells, finding a new vehicle seemed like a good change, until I got to the lot. It wasn't hard to find something that we liked, but leaving the old van with all the memories became a bit of a problem for me, and I cried all the way home from the dealership. I realized the number of miles was getting high and although it was in good condition, we were back to two people, the kids were on their own and we didn't need such a large vehicle. But leaving that old van in the lot caused some unexpected feelings. I wasn't just "leaving" the van, I was saying good-bye to special memories; all the years to and from baseball games, band practices, toting items to the concession stand during the ball games, and then college for our oldest and moving everything to her dorm. The new smaller mini van wasn't part of the family, and it didn't even have a place for a cassette player! Another change, now I would have to figure out this CD player! I really didn't like change at all. I waited to purchase a CD until the very last thing on my list that day at the "We have everything store." I would have preferred the cassette. I remember making the change from records to cassettes and it took me a while to get used to that! "Get with it, Mom," our son admonished me over the telephone. "They have oldies on the CDs now. Times are changing, you'll love that new player!" he laughed. It wasn't funny. My other cars had radios, and the last two had a cassette player. I was content with that. For that reason it made me wonder what I was doing in the CD aisle. I walked up to a sales clerk and asked, "Do you have anything by Johnny Mathis?" "Is he country music or pop?" she quipped. "He isn't either." I couldn't believe it. They didn't know Johnny! "Nope, never heard of him." She looked like she felt sorry for me! "Okay, I'll just look around a bit. Are these CDs the right size for a car player?" I asked. "They are unless you have something we aren't aware of. And they'll work on your player at home too," she smiled. I looked for a name that I knew. There was nothing by Pat Boone or Ricky Nelson. What was this? I went to the aisle that said "pop tunes" and I was lost again! I saw a CD by Natalie Cole and asked a sales person, "Do you have anything by her dad, Nat King Cole?" "Well, we can look his name up in the music archives and see if it shows," she replied. I said, "Okay, I'm going to keep looking, will you let me know if you find the old guy in your archives?" I wasn't doing research for a war hero from the revolutionary period. Nat had died young, but I remembered his music. I thought of all my records at home. My 45's never cost more than a dollar, and the LP's, depending on the year, were more. But these had $16.95 written on them. And I never heard of the singers. I wondered if they had "40's Swing" and thought of Glenn Miller. Amazing, he never lived to see the progress from a 78 record to a CD. I thought I'd pick up the tempo a bit and try to find something by The Fifth Dimensions, Burt Bacharach or Dean Martin. I asked the young man next to me. "Do you know where the Dean Martin CDs are?" "Is he that Italian dude? I think they have a section for Foreign," he said and walked away. I stared at the back of his head. Dean didn't sing in Italian, he sang in English. Don't these kids know the greats? I felt a panic attack coming on and heat was starting to take residence in my face and neck! My gal came back. "No, we don't have anything by Nat King Cole, just Natalie Cole. Is there something else you'd like to find?" I thought about asking if she had anything by the Motown classics, but decided she might think I was referring to a new type of car. "I think I'm all set," I told the sales girl. I picked up a CD by Barry Manilow and tossed it into my cart. When I got home my hubby wondered how the shopping had gone. "I felt like I was having a panic attack in the CD aisle," I replied. "No, that usually works for me," he stated. "Dear, exactly how far back did your song search go?" He knew my love for the oldies. I didn't comment further. One has priorities in life. I grew up during the 50's and 60's and belonged to a number of fan clubs. I was loyal. I went to the other room and got out my "Unforgettable" album by Nat King Cole. "Hey Nat, they may not have you in the CD aisles, but you still have a place in my home. I turned up the volume and continued to do some work listening to the King. The next evening when my husband came home he had a package for me. I eagerly opened my gift from the sweetest guy in the world, and was overjoyed to see a number of CD's by some of my favorite singers. "Where did you find these?" I exclaimed, thinking of my recent and not to joyous search! "I was able to find them at a store near my office," he explained. "And now we are going out to the mini van to learn how to work the CD player," he grabbed a CD and my hand and led the way. After we went over the procedure and how to load the CD player, I told him I'd try it out and he happily gave me the keys and stood aside. I drove my new vehicle around the area when a song from the past came on my CD, it was a duet by a couple great singers called "Baby, you've Got What It Takes." I opened all the windows and turned up the volume. I felt young again, a hot flash might appear within moments but right now I was allowing the breeze to kiss my cheeks and my soul felt happy. Perhaps that is the way it should be, enjoy the moments and cherish each one, however it comes. For readers who would like to order the book above please click below, or copy and paste, and you may order directly from the Chicken Soup website. HCI-Online Books - Chicken Soup for the Soul in Menopause |
© Diane Dean White - 2008